Friday, September 21, 2012

Living My Songwriting (Or "A Self-Help Blog")

So I am used to be a crazy person. The kind of person who experienced emotion too strongly for her own good. I cherished the hurt inside my heart because I thought it was precious— because most people walked around not feeling anything, so I had to feel enough for them as well. (Rather presumptuous of me.) 

I thought emotional depth made me Special. I was looking for any reason to think that God had Chosen me. I needed an excuse to think there would be more to my life than what there was. And so I wrote A History of Sleepwalking, which I saw as an honest tale of living with the darkest emotions and finding a way to be true to your faith.

No one got it, of course. People usually got hung up on the song about Internet porn. My opus was lost! (How melodramatic.)

Thankfully I learned not to take myself quite so seriously. But there is something to be said for innocence, the way we experience every moment of life with the utmost intensity before we are hurt. I thought life as an adult meant not being ruled by my emotions. I matured, I grew a bit less self-righteous, but I also caged my emotions in little song boxes, compartmentalizing everything so it was only experienced when I sang. 

Then I was confronted with the canyon I've created between Song Jana and Day-to-Day Jana. Song Jana could sing about selfless love in "If I Ever Break Your Heart" (if you haven't heard it yet, it's on Ideals & Deals, yay!) but Day-to-Day Jana could never admit to feeling that way. It would be weakness!

Then it hit me. Not showing weakness is a weakness. Not showing emotion is silly. I only have one life! What's the point of pretending not to be The Girl Who Feels?

So I'm trying to live my songwriting, take that emotional intensity that I've packaged up so nicely in chords and lyrics, and spread it out across my so-called mundane life. 

We shouldn't write to escape how boring our lives are. We should act to make them unboring, and writing should be an overflow of how richly we live. 

Self-help blog over.

6 comments:

Guo Guo said...

zheng123
links of london uk
oakley sunglasses wholesale
celine handbags
converse outlet
abercrombie outlet
ralph lauren outlet online
swarovski jewelry
louis vuitton outlet
burberry outlet
coach outlet online
marc jacobs
air jordan 4
tod's sale
mlb jerseys wholesale
new balance shoes
michael kors uk
true religion
jordan 4 retro
toms shoes outlet online
michael kors outlet online
foamposite shoes
jordan shoes
michael kors outlet
swarovski outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
tods shoes
ralph lauren outlet
adidas shoes
m a c cosmetics
true religion outlet
louis vuitton outlet online
beats by dre,dr dre,beats headphones
true religion jeans
kate spade outlet
ed hardy clothing
mont blanc pens for sale
ray ban outlet
lebron 10,lebron 11,lebron 12
new balance
toms shoes

chenyingying9539 9539 said...

2015-7- 3 chenyingying9539
coach outlet
abercrombie outlet
michael kors outlet online
mulberry handbags
hollister clothing
pandora jewelry
oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach canada outlet
nike air max
retro jordans
pandora charms
oakley sunglasses
christian louboutin sale
coach factory outlet
lebron james shoes
air jordan pas cher
hollister outlet
michael kors
christian louboutin shoes
ralph lauren outlet
kevin durant shoes
kate spade outlet
cheap jerseys
burberry outlet online
ray ban outlet
christian louboutin shoes
louis vuitton
coach factory outlet
sac longchamp pas cher
oakley vault

kate spade outlet said...

Kate Spade Outlet Toms Shoes Hermes Belt UGG Boots UGG Boots Outlet Burberry Black Friday Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Online North Face Outlet Store North Face Store The North Face Outlet Louis Vuitton Factory Outlet Louis Vuittons Handbags Louis Vuittons Outlet Online Timberland Boots Cheap Timberland Boots Timberland Outlet Tory Burch Outlet Store Tory Burch Outlet Online Tory Burch Outlet North Face Outlet Store Canada Goose Jackets Canada Goose Outlet Oakley Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet Gucci Factory Outlet Gucci Outlet Gucci Handbags Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses North Face Outlet Store The North Face Jackets Prada Outlet Polo Ralph Lauren Burberry Outlet Hollister Clothing

Cran Jane said...

Coach Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes Oakley Sunglasses Valentino Shoes Burberry Outlet
Oakley Eyeglasses Michael Kors Outlet Coach Factory Outlet Coach Outlet Online Coach Purses Kate Spade Outlet Toms Shoes North Face Outlet Coach Outlet North Face Jackets Oakley Sunglasses Toms Outlet North Face Outlet Nike Outlet Nike Hoodies Tory Burch Flats Marc Jacobs Handbags Jimmy Choo Shoes Jimmy Choos
Burberry Belt Tory Burch Boots Louis Vuitton Belt Ferragamo Belt Marc Jacobs Handbags Lululemon Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes True Religion Outlet Tommy Hilfiger Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Coach Outlet Red Bottoms Kevin Durant Shoes New Balance Outlet Adidas Outlet Coach Outlet Online Stephen Curry Jersey

Eric Yao said...

Ralph Lauren Outlet
Ugg Boots Sale UGGS For Women Skechers Go Walk Adidas Yeezy Boost Adidas Yeezy Adidas NMD Coach Outlet North Face Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet Puma SneakersPolo Outlet
Under Armour Outlet Under Armour Hoodies Herve Leger MCM Belt Nike Air Max Louboutin Heels Jordan Retro 11 Converse Outlet Nike Roshe Run UGGS Outlet North Face Outlet
Adidas Originals Ray Ban Lebron James Shoes Sac Longchamp Air Max Pas Cher Chaussures Louboutin Keds Shoes Asics Shoes Coach Outlet Salomon Shoes True Religion Outlet
New Balance Outlet Skechers Outlet Nike Outlet Adidas Outlet Red Bottom Shoes New Jordans Air Max 90 Coach Factory Outlet

eric yao said...

Coach Outlet http://www.coachoutletfactory-stores.us.com

North Face Outlet http://www.northface-outlets.com.co

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadefactoryoutlet.in.net

ED Hardy Outlet http://www.edhardypopsale.com

Coach Outlet Store Online http://www.coachstoreonline.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletstore.in.net

Cheap Jordans http://www.cheapjordansretro.us.com

Coach Purses http://www.coachpurses.eu.com

Coach Outlet http://www.coachoutlet2016.us.com

Tory Burch Shoes http://www.toryburchoutlets.us.com

Longchamp Outlet http://www.longchampoutlet.in.net

Michael Kors Handbags http://www.innnov8.com

Coach Outlet http://www.innnovate.com

Red Bottom Shoes http://www.redbottomshoes.us.org

Moncler Jackets http://www.monclerdownjackets.us.com

North Face Outlet http://www.northfacestoreoutlet.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletstore.us.com

Moncler Outlet http://www.moncleroutletonline.in.net

Coach Factory http://www.maganates.com

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachfactorysoutlet.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadesoutlet.us.com

Ray Ban Outlet http://www.raybanoutletstore.in.net

Christian Louboutin Shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoes2016.in.net

North Face Outlet http://www.northfaceoutlets.us.org

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachoutletstore.name

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletonline.name

Coach Outlet http://www.coach-outlets.us.org

Nike Roshe Run http://www.tanie-nikerosherun.pl

Buty Nike Air Max http://www.airmaxsprzedazdla.pl

Nike Air Max http://www.nikeairmax.us.org

Red Bottom Shoes http://www.redbottomshoe.in.net

Christian Louboutin Outlet http://www.christianlouboutinoutlet.us.org

Balenciaga Handbags http://www.balenciagaoutlets.us.com

Balenciaga Handbags http://www.balenciaga-handbags.us.com

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadefactoryoutlet.in.net

Toms Shoes http://www.tomshoesoutlet.us.com

Hermes Belt http://www.hermes-belts.us.com

Prada Outlet http://www.pradafactoryoutlet.com

Louis Vuitton Outlet http://www.louisvuittonsoutlet.us.com

North Face Outlet Store http://www.northfaceoutletstore.in.net

North Face Jackets http://www.north-face.in.net

North Face http://www.north-faceoutlets.us.com

Louis Vuitton Outlet http://www.louisvuitton-outlets.us.org

Timberland Boots http://www.timberland-outlets.us.com

Cheap Timberland Boots http://www.timberlandoutlet.us.com

Tory Burch Outlet http://www.toryburch-outlets.us.com

Ralph Lauren Outlet http://www.ralphlaurenstoreoutlet.us.com

Gucci Shoes http://www.guccifactoryoutlet.name

Gucci Outlet http://www.guccioutletco.us.com

North Face Jackets http://www.northfacefactoryoutlet.us.com

Prada Outlet http://www.pradaoutlets.in.net

Hollister Clothing http://www.hollister-clothing.us.com

Ferragamo Shoes http://www.ferragamoshoes.us.org

Tiffany Outlet http://www.tiffany-outlets.us.com

Tiffany Outlet http://www.tiffanyco-outlet.us.com

NFL Jerseys http://www.nfljerseys.name

Toms Outlet http://www.outlettoms.us.com

Cheap Jordans http://www.cheapjordans.eu.com

North Face Outlet http://www.thenorthfaceoutlet.us.org

Prada Handbags http://www.pradaoutlet.us.org

Chan Luu Sale http://www.chanluu.us.com

Toms Outlet http://www.tomsoutletstores.us.com

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletofficial.us.com

Beats By Dr Dre http://www.beatsbydrdre.us.org

Coach Outlet http://www.coachstoreoutlet.us.org

Christian Louboutin Shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoe.eu.com

Valentino Shoes http://www.valentinoshoes.eu.com

Michael Kors Outlet http://www.michaelkorsoutlet.us.org

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachfactoryoutlet.us.org

Coach Outlet Online http://www.coachoutletonlinestore.us.org

Coach Purses http://www.coachpurse.us.com