Wednesday, March 3, 2010

CL Rehab

Okay, confession.

You can't be a good rock star without a major addiction. And yes, I have mine.

My name is Jana (hi Jana) and I'm addicted to Craigslist.

I know, I know, it sounds a little fantastical, but it's true. I know that CL is full of junk and a waste of my time. It's just that I've had so many good experiences. Like here's all the stuff I found on Craigslist:


  • Mike, my guitar player

  • Brett, who lets me play laptop in his band

  • My last three apartments

  • My TV

  • My DVD player

  • The art in my bathroom

  • An art student who let me talk about religion on camera in exchange for prints of his art

  • The dog shelter where I volunteer

  • Several of my music gigs



... And most of my friends.

So put yourself in my position. Would you want to give it up?

Now that I have Craigsphone, my problem has gotten worse. Two or three times a day, I scroll through all of the bizarre ads about foot fetish parties and unpaid internships doing other people's laundry thinking I'm going to hit the jackpot. And yes, I have triumphed over the unorganized, inappropriate mess many times in the past. But my successes are waaaaaaayy out of proportion to the amount of time I spend on there.

Maybe I'm just too picky. I'm kind of a grammar snob. Here are the reasons I'll ignore an ad:


  • ALL CAPS

  • too ... many ... ellipses ...

  • Stupid misspellings (like people who say they want to get signed to a "lable")

  • Whining about loneliness (You live in New York, surrounded by millions of strangers. You think you're the only one who's lonely?)

  • Acting as if getting signed to a major "lable" is going to result in a 100% caviar diet

  • Talking about how much you like clubbing and poppin' bottles (just go to the liquor store. At least there, if you have to wait in line, you'll be indoors.)

  • Talking about how you want to find your "ride or die bitch" (That's supposed to make me want to be your friend?)



So yeah, maybe I'm too selective. But maybe that's why I've had 95% good experiences.

Maybe I can make a computer program that would filter out all these ads and send me what's left in a daily email. That would be awesome. But... It would also take away the joy of the CL hunt.

I spend way too much time thinking about this.

This is why I need to go to CL rehab.