Tuesday, November 27, 2007

So.

So my CDs are done.

The past several years have been building up to this moment, and now that I'm here, it feels . . . normal. I suppose I thought that once I had a physical product that wasn't burned on my computer and written on with Sharpie that something would click and I'd suddenly be a superstar who could order M&M's with the brown ones removed and organic tequila backstage.

I suppose introversion and timidity have caused me to do things backwards. Usually you hear about the young teenage girl who performed constantly until she got "discovered" and then produced an album that sold millions and she became super famous and lived happily ever after. I was the teenage girl who sat in my bedroom writing songs for myself, performing occasionally, but never feeling ready to expose myself. I did one concert with a full band, and it was awesome. I was on a high for days. But something in me pushed that joy out of my mind and settled back into the quiet routine of writing and recording.

There's a fear in all of us, a fear of the very things we long for. If you never try, you never fail, right? That's how I've been feeling anyway.

Thankfully, the timidity is (mostly) gone. I can't wait for exams -- I'll have a week and a half of free time to write, practice, and promote my music. Who needs studying? Psshh.